This is hard. Writing is hard when you reach burn out too soon.
Current Situation: I have reached the point where my story sucks and now realised that this isn’t the story I want to tell. What should I do? There is nothing wrong with the outline since I am writing according to it. So where did I go wrong? Or am I having imposter syndrome right now?
*Frustration begins* Few days back, I knew that I needed a break. I needed to step away from my Nano novel and do something else. This was too overwhelming. Stress. Argh pressure. Meltdown. This novel is trash. Bad thoughts keep swimming in my head, and the stress was causing me to breakdown.
So I did that. I spent time with family. Watched some of the movies I was meaning to get to. Listened to songs, danced to them. I just went out and be human again.
I even sang my heart out in the shower the other day. I had to let go of the stress. I couldn’t hold it back anymore! I told myself that I needed to do something else other than writing! Reading was just the thing I needed right now. It was my priority now. It was the one thing that could bring back the inspiration and motivation to strengthen the relationship with my novel.
Despite being a risk, it was a risk I had to take. Besides it was an emergency, and self-care comes first. So I had to do it. I may be behind from my word count but it was worth taking 4 days break from my novel. During my break, I read blog posts, articles about writing and publishing and watched Authortube and writing vlogs (loveeee it!). Talking and chilling with friends, just catching up was the best time. My mind felt so relaxed. It was refreshing. I even tried learning something else too; and that was writing reviews. Though I was still polishing my skills, it was fun to try something new. By then, I was a lot calmer and was back to my ‘real’ self. I was enjoying the peace of not posting every day’s word count on Instagram for accountability.
I realised something…I realised that I was too focused on the word count that I had forgotten about the essence of the story.
Realisation Strikes: I shouldn’t focus on the word count. The word count never mattered in the first place. It was about getting as much words down on the blank document. It was the words, and the story, not the number of words!! How could I not see that? I should have just focus on the story. The words from the story were the highlight of Nanowrimo. Did that make sense? It made sense in my head though. I should think of the story and then put words to paper. That is the key of winning Nanowrimo. That is what National Novel Writing Month is all about. It isn’t a competition. It isn’t about reaching 50K words, it is about writing your novel. It is about making an effort of starting it and finishing it.
Yes that is it! I am using this new, and fresh mindset as I dive back into Project Waves. Well, back to writing!
Till we meet again.
Dream a million dreams and make them come true!
Alex is signing out
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